Monday, May 18, 2009

keep Gaussing

Gazing at Gaussian

That is one year less than one-quarter of a man’s theoretical lifetime; he said when someone told him that he’s turned twenty-four. I mean every degree from our pie is being eaten away and what are we! he envisaged.

The doctor slapped me thrice when my mom gave birth to me. I don’t have that memory but I have learned that that was done to encourage the baby to breathe. The baby is upside down when that is done and that is one serious smack on the ass. Funny it may sound but that is a medical technique. Or is it not? While I ponder all this, I begin to think how funnily life begins. And by an amazing act of God or Science which goes beyond any explanation, we begin to grow. The brain begins to think and to store. But it takes a ‘blow’ to erase all that. By any normal human standards of growth, we do not store anything that happens between the ages of one and three. I can recollect events since the age of four. I visualize, I sense and I feel. As a grownup, we see babies have testing tools such as the sleep and tears. Yes, there’s the mouth that is the biggest tool. How many arbit things have been tested this way: the saliva test. We did it too. And I know not why this happens. I wonder. I looked at three year old kid cover himself with a blanket to beat the cold. And how did he know that? Don’t tell me it is just observation in two years. Anyway, my crappy observations aside, ten to fifteen years go in growth. And life begins to walk the line. But troubled years begin. But joyous years begin. Two ‘but’s or let me just say a mix begins. Grow while you grow or deny yourself while you grow. But it has the hugest impact on the couple of years to come. The bad cannot be undone. The good can be done with more. So as I draw a curve with all the events that have happened, I would say there is a rise in…like..on the Y-axis. Not linear but a curvish growth, for all the ups and downs. For the remaining part, what I call as the aftermath of the first twenty years, I would like the curve to come down, the same way it raised. Isn’t this a popular belief: nothing stays at the top and that that has to come down. The sooner I see the down, the faster I try to get it up. So there is a bearing on the days to come, to fight the future, for the curve is like a bell.

Hmmm. I was on the rise last year with some memorable moments but this year I am walking down the curve. How quickly everything changes! I begin to think what fraction of life that got divided with this. I have put in the sanity for, say, six years, to see the insane events that could well last for a few months. I am searching for intervals to divide my curve. I know I got a bell. What am I at this point? And how much is left? Aah, if only I had the power of prediction!

He penned all this. I walked in to his room and happened to read what he had written. In a sleepy whisper he said name it ‘Gaussian Life’.

7 comments:

shreybomb said...

The hardest thing in life is to forget. And once we do, we feel inhumane for being able to move on. Its the circle of regretting things we wish for but don't think we have it in us to carry it through.

Sad but life....

Sridhar said...

You were spot on when you said what reaches the top has to come down best example Sensex this morning :) Have hope at the same time also hate something or someone. Hate keeps a man alive :) Cheers and 24 is a long time on this planet though it may not seem so. Lets remember the best days and live in that world even if it means day dreaming about it no issues. Sinc the good times are what you can take with you when you leave this Planet and go...So Chin up :)

karthik said...

one more thing being Gaussian!! Is this post some sort of rumbling about getting old :P

Akshaya said...

Birthday boy!Such a profound post. Birthday boys cannot be thinking and wondering so much but should be enjoying off day and think of great times to come. If 1st quarter of life spent in ignorance was so much fun, imagine how much better can the other quarters get.
Live on! Enjoy off.

rajturl said...

@Shreya: u do understand me better.
@Sridhar: ulti comment macha.
@karthik: one junior who's awesome!
@aks: u r magic!

Sai Vishnubhatla said...

there is no better day than ones b'day to do an introspection i guess.In a little over quater of a pie of my life so far , these are somethings i believed in and would continue to do so...
*What will matter is not your success, but your significance.
*What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.
*What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.
*What will matter is not your competence, but your character.
*What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel alasting loss when you're gone.
*What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in thosewho loved you.
*What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

though these are things i made up ..they are things i designed my life on so far ...
so.. Happy birthday ...the next 3 quarters in your pie of lifge would be more significant to you and to ppl around you ...

Srikanth-LOLA-Viswanathan said...

Am glad you thought of Gaussian and not Sinusoidal :D. Tan would have been kickass :D